don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
