the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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