There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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