worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
not ubering you a puppy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
