She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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