I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
