i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
