are you still at the devil's house?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
