Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
