so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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