Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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