i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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