I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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