I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
