I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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