after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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