It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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