Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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