You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize