Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
