I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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