So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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