I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
