I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize