Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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