I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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