Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i've created a new STD.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
