I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
