well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize