I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
