im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
