i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
