So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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