it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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