its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
