Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Come see our sink grown plant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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