You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
