i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
