First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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