Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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