im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
