I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize