im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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