I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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