At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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