actually, I'm a sock model
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
