i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
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