Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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