you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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