I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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