well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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