Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
