Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
