His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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