I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dignity is for republicans.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
