If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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