I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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