He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
