Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
