stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
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i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
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So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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