i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
