Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will be naked everywhere
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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