I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
