My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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