watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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