yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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