this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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